I the Princess of Toasterland, in Order to form a perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for Toasterland.
All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in the Princess.
The Princess shall have Power To provide for the common Defense and general Welfare of Toasterland;
To borrow Money on the credit of Toasterland;
To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several Towns;
To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout Toasterland;
To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;
To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of Toasterland;
To establish Post Offices and post Roads;
To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;
To constitute Tribunals inferior to the royal supreme Court;
To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offenses against the Law of Nations;
To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;
To write legislation giving Toasterland access to other nations' Militaries;
To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the use of other Nations' land, naval and air Forces;
To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;
To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of Toasterland, reserving to the Towns respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by the Princess;
To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of Toasterland, or in any Department or Officer thereof.
No Town shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.
No Town shall, without the Consent of the Princess, lay any Duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another Town, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.
The executive Power shall be vested in the Princess. She shall hold this Office forever and isn't elected; if you don't like this move to New Mars.
The Princess shall be Commander in Chief of the Militaries of other Nations when they have allowed Toasterland access, if they grant that power to Toasterland, and of the Militia of the several Towns, when called into the actual Service of Toasterland;
She shall have Power to make Treaties, and she shall nominate and shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the royal supreme Court, and all other Officers of Toasterland, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law.
The judicial Power of the Toasterland shall be vested in one royal supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Princess may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.
The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of Toasterland, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority;--to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls;--to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction;--to Controversies to which Toasterland shall be a Party;--to Controversies between two or more Towns;-- between a Town and Citizens of another Town,--between Citizens of different Towns,--between Citizens of the same Town claiming Lands under Grants of different Towns, and between a Towns, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign Towns, Citizens or Subjects.
In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a Town shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the royal supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Princess.
The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the Town where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any Town, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Princess may by Law have directed.
Treason against Toasterland, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.
The Princess shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.
Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each Town to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other Town. And the Princess may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.
The Citizens of each Town shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several Towns.
New Towns may be created at any time by Citizens of Toasterland in French Toasterland. They must be Registered with the Princess to be recognized and treated officially.
Toasterland shall guarantee to every Town a Republican Form of Government, or at least the free ability to leave if a Citizen does not like a Town's government, and shall protect each Town against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened), against domestic Violence.
The Princess, whenever she shall deem it necessary, shall create Amendments to this Constitution, which shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution. She will notify all Towns of the change.
This Constitution, and the Laws of Toasterland which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of Toasterland, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every Town shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any Town to the Contrary notwithstanding.
Bill of Rights
Towns shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security Toasterland, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the Town and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defense.
In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty Toasterbux, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of Toasterland, than according to the rules of the common law.
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted. Deportation is perfectly okay
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
The powers not delegated to be handled specifically by the Princess by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the Towns, are reserved to the Towns respectively, or to the people.
The Fuzzy Butt Liberation Amendment of 2014
Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within Toasterland, or any place subject to its jurisdiction.
Anti-discrimination Amendment of 2017
No person shall discriminate against others based on their race, species, gender identity, sexuality, or other personal details.